'Eyestalk clock', by me, via Flickr

The biggest problem with being bipolar is the inevitable down time, when you can’t do anything because you are so lacking in ability. With me it often comes in the form of either wanting to hibernate until it goes away, or worrying incessantly over things to the point where I can’t possibly do anything to overcome them.

That’s how the last few weeks have been for me. I hadn’t been able to get through as much work as I wanted to because of assignments, having a friend stay for a while, family visiting, and a caravan trip to Wales that we had been planning for ages. As a result, I was terrified of not being able to pay bills, and ended up unable to do any work because of this terror.

The fact is, there was never anything to worry about. Okay so my savings went down a little because I hadn’t worked as much but that’s what savings are for. We are fine, we were always going to be fine, and there was nothing to worry about. Yet I worried nevertheless.

Then when I woke up today, everything was fine. I felt happy, I felt accomplished, I felt like I could do anything. The downward cycle is over. I’m back to being me. Huzzah!

The final law exam for my degree is on Wednesday. I’m going to be busy preparing for that for the next few days but I’ll try to continue to write my articles and also keep my vlogging going, because I don’t want to get back out of that habit. I’ve found that if I take a break from things, it is hard to get back going with them so it’s probably for the best if I keep up ZJKR at least.

Speaking of which, here is today’s episode:

The comics have had to take a break however. I can’t put aside four to six hours a day for the next few days to draw comics when I have an exam to revise for. Still, I put up an apology video. You can see it on both comics.

Speaking of comics, Ink Proof Cannon is coming back! It will begin again in November and I am currently using my Tumblr account to publish the redesign sketches I’ve been making for the characters. So far I’ve done the main characters for Bounty Bunny and Dave Wetherby and the Devil’s Accountants but the rest will be coming up over the next couple of weeks. Those of you who are interested in that kind of thing can find the sketches here.

If there is one thing in the world we can all agree on, it is that we should not eat yellow snow. I did that once, when I was young and stupid, and I don’t mind telling you I got very ill indeed. I lost a fair chunk of that Christmas holiday to a heavy dose of lurgi.

Anyway, childhood illnesses are not what I’m here to talk about today. True to form, I wasn’t able to keep up daily vlogging this week because I have been busy sorting out work. One of my main clients is restructuring its business and as a result, I have to restructure my own business. It’s no fault of anyone’s, these things happen from time to time and we have to adapt to keep going but it does mean work had to take priority over making videos for a while. With any luck, I should be able to get back into the swing of things in the middle of next week, although it may take a little longer than that. I can’t say for certain at this point.

I did manage to make a vlog for ZJKR however, so I’ll post that here. I made it by talking to Jennifer about her model railway and it’s not very long so I may continue in this vein until I can get fully back on my feet with the videos.

I have an exam coming up on the 12th. It’s my final exam for this degree course and I’m looking at it with trepidation. If I don’t do well, that’s five years of hard work down the drain. If I panic, I’ll forget everything I need to write. If I do well, I can get a good degree. I just have to keep calm, not forget everything I’ve learned, and do the best I can. I’ll talk more about that once it’s over with, because at that point I’ll be able to say more about how it went.

In other news, I think I’m starting to recover from my latest downward cycle. I don’t like being bipolar when I’m on a downward trend because it really screws with my ability to do anything; as the drop-off in comics, blogging and just about everything else have shown. I’m in ‘catch up’ mode at the moment because my productivity dropped off massively while I wasn’t having a good time of things and now I have to earn loads of money to make up for that. It’s not an impossible task but it does mean I have to work harder than I usually would. Thankfully I’ve almost completed that herculean task, too. Hooray for blood, sweat and toil!

The comics will be on hiatus until Wednesday, when I get back from my exam and can sit down to draw some. This is because I’m using my traditional comic drawing time to revise for my exam. I hope you can forgive me putting the exam first. It’s not like it’s going to happen again, now!

Okay, that’s really all I have to say for the moment. I’d best get back to work. See you later!

If there’s one thing that is guaranteed to exhaust me, it is spending day upon day doing 16 hours of law study. I don’t like to have to do marathon sessions like that but sometimes it is necessary to make sure I actually do understand all the background details for what I’m talking about. I’m prepared to put the work in, as they say, and I think that’s why I’ve achieved such good results in the past.

I just hope I achieve them this time, too. If not, it kind of makes all that effort seem wasted; even if it really is not, in the long run. Even if something goes wrong this time, there’s still all that collected knowledge and experience to use (I was going to say “to fall back on” but that does not seem right in this situation) at a later date.

Now the assignment is over, I am going to take a day or two away from the law so I can concentrate on getting the comics back up and running. I also have work to do but that is always there and I’ll be ploughing ahead with it in the hope of catching up on all the writing I’ve missed this week because I was pulling 16 hour epic legal shifts. It’s going to be a fun week.

In other news, work on the re-launch of Ink Proof Cannon will continue apace next week. I am planning to have that come back in force in November but I’m not sure whether it will continue to be hand-drawn or whether I’ll go back to my safe zone and just do everything digitally. Whatever happens, the lettering will be digital from now on because it’s damn clear I can’t hand letter for toffee! Expect the new, improved and above all legible comic to hit a website near you this November!

While I’m on the subject of webcomics, I’m considering an art shift for Ink Proof Cannon. There is a lot of detail in the comics that are on that site right now and for the most part, I think it works nicely. However, some of the comics could probably look better with a little less detail on them. Dudes With Swords would be the one that’s there right now which would likely benefit the most from a more cartoonish style; mostly because of its emphasis on comedy.

Bounty Bunny (which I still think is a great title even if everyone else is always “what the hell?” about it) might benefit from reduced detail, or might not. I might play around with character designs before the relaunch so I can see what works and what does not.

Anyway, it’s time to get back to work. Talk to you later!